You say how happy you are,
But why are you happy?
Can’t you see?
I’m not happy.
I’m not happy to still be here.
I don’t want to exist.
I don’t want to be alive.
I’ve lived up to a point where I realized,
I can’t continue to live life.
I’ve been happy until recently.
Until everything crashed down on me.
I can’t handle everything anymore.
I don’t wish to exist anymore.
I wish I never existed.
I can’t continue to be here.
I don’t want to be here.
You said you were happy I lived.
You said you couldn’t believe I attempted it.
You didn’t believe that I would do something.
When I did, you decided to give up.
I didn’t want to live.
Especially not after failing the attempt.
No one wants to be around someone like me.
No one wants to hold onto someone
Who may let go entirely one day.
I’ve tried since getting out
To be happier.
To see the better side of life.
But once again…
It proves to me that I don’t belong.
I’m losing reasons to live
and gaining more reasons to die.
People keep leaving and I have no one.
I don’t have anyone to really want me here.
No one cares enough to help me.
No one cares enough to stay.
As I’ve said before, you’d leave,
Just like everyone else.
And as I predicted, you left.
I’m not happy living.
I’ve never been truly happy to live.
All these years to have passed,
I’ve never been happy.
I’m not happy to be alive.
So why do you want me to suffer so much?
Why do you want me to live when I’m not happy to be alive?
Why do you want me to stay
and continue to hurt
I’m not happy.
I want to leave.
I want to not be here any longer.
Down with the wind,
And out with the stars.
All gone without a trace.
But now they are so far.
So far away.
Gone forever with no return.
No way to get back.
Lost in darkness,
Scared with fear.
With no escape.
As my vision blurs, my mind goes blank.
As my mind goes blank, I stop thinking.
As I stop thinking, my blood stops flowing.
As my blood stops flowing, my heart stops beating.
As my heart stops beating, my body collapses.
As my body collapses, I near my final breath.
As I near my final breath, I fall into the dark abyss.
As I fall in the dark abyss, I am quickly forgotten about.
As I am quickly forgotten about, my existence disappears.
As my existence disappears, I am finally gone.
As I am finally gone, everyone is finally happy.
As everyone is finally happy, I no longer exist…
“You don’t know what you truly have until it’s gone.”