You say how happy you are,
But why are you happy?
Can’t you see?
I’m not happy.
I’m not happy to still be here.
I don’t want to exist.
I don’t want to be alive.
I’ve lived up to a point where I realized,
I can’t continue to live life.
I’ve been happy until recently.
Until everything crashed down on me.
I can’t handle everything anymore.
I don’t wish to exist anymore.
I wish I never existed.
I can’t continue to be here.
I don’t want to be here.
You said you were happy I lived.
You said you couldn’t believe I attempted it.
You didn’t believe that I would do something.
When I did, you decided to give up.
I didn’t want to live.
Especially not after failing the attempt.
No one wants to be around someone like me.
No one wants to hold onto someone
Who may let go entirely one day.
I’ve tried since getting out
To be happier.
To see the better side of life.
But once again…
It proves to me that I don’t belong.
I’m losing reasons to live
and gaining more reasons to die.
People keep leaving and I have no one.
I don’t have anyone to really want me here.
No one cares enough to help me.
No one cares enough to stay.
As I’ve said before, you’d leave,
Just like everyone else.
And as I predicted, you left.
I’m not happy living.
I’ve never been truly happy to live.
All these years to have passed,
I’ve never been happy.
I’m not happy to be alive.
So why do you want me to suffer so much?
Why do you want me to live when I’m not happy to be alive?
Why do you want me to stay
and continue to hurt
I’m not happy.
I want to leave.
I want to not be here any longer.
You say how happy you are,
Bounded by chains,
trapped beneath it all.
No one to save me
no one to help.
Bounded by lies,
trapped beneath the pain.
No one will save me
no one will ever help.
I’m alone in my head,
I’m by myself.
I can’t rely on anyone
I won’t rely on anyone.
I’m alone with my demons,
trapped and hurting.
No one will come
No one will save me from myself.
Down with the wind,
And out with the stars.
All gone without a trace.
But now they are so far.
So far away.
Gone forever with no return.
No way to get back.
Lost in darkness,
Scared with fear.
With no escape.
Running through this brightened snow.
Hiding in a place where no one knows.
Beneath the freezing cold.
Where his mind can no longer hold.
The thoughts of being alone.
Even though he should have known.
That no one wanted to be around him.
Because of how he is so grim.
No one wanted to be around.
Because of how he sometimes sounds.
No love from his parents or friends.
But most of those relationships already came to an end.
He wanted to know how love feels.
Is it the same after feasting on a delicious meal?
Or like feeling the warmth of a cave?
But no one would love how he behaves.
So he wandered the snowy fields.
Leaving his true self to never be revealed.
Hoping to find a better life to live.
He hopes to be able to forgive.
Those who betrayed him.
But his feelings are filling to the brim.
He cannot contain them any longer.
He howls to the sky and wishes he were stronger.
Upon howling he soon discovers something strange.
But is yet out of range.
He stares at in disbelief.
But he feels that his grief.
Slowly disappears into thin air.
While light shines on what is there.
He stares at the light colored moon.
He stares for hours until it has left so soon.
Sadness immediately fills his heart.
This feeling is tearing him apart.
He cannot let his love get away.
So he chases the moon as he is full of dismay.
Wondering why it left so suddenly.
When it gave off a feeling so lovingly.
He tried but could not win.
He stopped running and gave in.
No one wanted to be around him.
Sadness came back even more grim.
He wishes he could be more than only,
Just a wolf that is so lonely.
So I feel really bad. I feel completely terrible. I’ve been facing some problems lately. And they have been making me upset. I’ve been trying to ignore them, but it’s hard to. Because of this, I forgot all about one of my close friend’s birthday. I feel really bad and upset cause I forgot about his birthday. I started crying because I was so caught up in my problems that I forgot about his birthday. And it made me even more upset cause I forgot about his birthday. I haven’t told him why I forgot because I don’t want him to think I’m just making up excuses. I just feel really, really bad. I feel like I made him upset, too. I don’t really expect any replies to this. I was just wanting to vent somewhere.