Broken as this dreadful reality.
Lost in this indecent formality.
Broken and lost at this sea.
Wondering how to find “me”.
Hard to continue a life like this.
Surely I won’t be missed.
Carrying the weight of a broken heart.
Drowning in darkness as it tears me apart.
Suffering in this cruel silence.
Wondering how I could have been so dense.
My love wasn’t good enough.
I thought what you said was a bluff.
I didn’t know that you would want to leave.
Now you just left me to grieve.
I’m so broken as this shattered mirror.
The foggy glass has never been so clearer.
For once, I can now see.
What you turned out to be.
You said you started to care less.
Your lies had just made this all a mess.
You said you love me, but do you really?
I honestly love you, dearly.
But it’s hard to continue on.
Knowing that now you’re gone.
I may know why you left me.
Maybe to be with the friend you like and see.
But my broken heart never mattered.
Since you made it shatter.
You do not seem to care.
Why are you not so fair?
You lied to me before.
Before you walked out the door.
Wallowing around in my own pity.
This week was so shitty.
Bad thoughts have come back to haunt me.
Why won’t they just leave me be?!
Going on and on through this pain.
Above me lies this menacing rain.
Pouring and pouring and never going away.
Honestly, I do not want to stay.
I want to go far away from here.
I feel you do not want me near.
I feel like you want me gone.
It’s been so long.
Since I felt this way.
My thoughts have gone into a forbidden place.
The tears won’t stop falling onto my face.
Right now I want to die.
So I won’t have to continue this lie.
The pain is too much.
It’s almost unbearable.
I don’t want to lose you.
I don’t want to hurt you.
But yet I hurt you when I never thought that I did.
And I’m scared I’m about to lose you, too.
I’m nothing without you.
It feels like my life would be meaningless without you.
I don’t know what to do without you.
It hurts a lot.
To hear you say these things to me.
I know you don’t mean it.
And I know that you don’t want to hurt me.
But the words you’re saying to me is just too much.
It hurts a lot for you to say the things you said.
I’m so stressed.
I can’t eat or drink or even sleep well.
My chest hurts a lot and I feel like I’m about to puke.
I want to tell you how much I would want to die without you.
But I feel like it’d make you even more upset.
I don’t want to make you upset.
I don’t want to make things worse.
But that’s all it seems like I’m doing.
I want to make things better between us.
But, I’m just so useless.
I can’t be of help.
You said it, too.
I can’t help.
I want to help.
But I just cant.
Fuck, among all the stress I’m under, this is the worst of it all.
Hearing you say these things.
I don’t want to hear them, but how else would I know?
I’m so clueless.
I probably couldn’t put together a puzzle even if it came with the answers.
I really hate myself so much now.
I just make things worse.
I’m really trying to fix them.
But how am I supposed to fix something when I’m just the problem?