Reflections on my inner and outer worlds.

Sadness (11/27/2014)

The thoughts around me are all the same.
Negative, pessimistic, deceiving.
What do I have to do to make them go away?
I’ve lived with them for a while.
I know there’s a good through all of this.
But I can barely see any good in it.
I can barely see any positives.
I’ve been sad before.
I know that.
But I feel so upset that it’s difficult to comprehend.
My heart feels broken when I know it’s not.
My mind feels deceived when it probably wasn’t.
I feel like I’m just jumping to the worst possible solution.
Where nothing good comes out.
I’m trying not to do that.
But it’s difficult to undo the things I did.
I’m so used to a worst case scenario.
It’s difficult to not do that anymore.
But even so, I feel so sad that I automatically do that.
I don’t think about it.
I just do.
It’s hard to try and think of positives right now.
When all I used to think about were negatives.
I’m trying to be more optimistic.
But it’s hard to do so.
When all I used to be was pessimistic.
I’m trying to face these challenges.
I really am.
But I’m having trouble holding up.
Because I know that my future is slipping from my grasp.
I’m trying to hold on.
But the sadness is a liquid that keeps pouring onto my hands.
To make me lose my grip of my future.
I’m trying to make it go away.
But my future is slipping away faster than I am making the sadness go away.

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