Reflections on my inner and outer worlds.

I Tried. (11/05/2014)

I sense it all the time.
The cold shoulder.
The “don’t look at her” expression.
The annoyance in your tone.
How you don’t want to be around me.
How you’re annoyed by me.
I sense it.
I know you don’t want to be around me.
I can feel your annoyed attitude from me.
I can tell that you don’t want to be around me.
I’m sorry, all right?
I got too attached to you and now I just…
*sighs*
I just wanted to be your friend.
‘Cause you’re cool.
And smart and amazing.
And chill to hang out with.
I wanted to consider you a friend, but now.
I know.
You don’t want to be friends.
You just want me to stop talking to you.
To just leave you alone.
To leave out of your life.
And never come back.
I thought you were my friend.
But you’re just like the rest of them.
Pretending to be friends with me, and for what?
To just get info out of me to blackmail me?
Fuck this shit.
I’m fucking tired of meeting new people.
I’m tired of them never wanting to be in my life.
Only to fucking use me.
I’m so fucking sick and tired of it.
I’m fucking tired of meeting people.
I’m tired of trusting people.
Because they always just fucking back stab me.
Or they just leave out of my life.
I’m so sick of it.
I tried…
I tried to be someone they could want in their life.
I was right.
I don’t belong anywhere.
I never have and never will.
My entire life and I never belonged anywhere.
Everywhere I went, there was always a reason.
A reason for why they don’t want me there.
I’m sorry.
I tried, I don’t know what else to do.
I tried to fit in.
I tried to find a place where I belong.
But who would want someone like me in their life?

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