Reflections on my inner and outer worlds.

Archive for June, 2013

Non-Existent (6/26/13)

As my vision blurs, my mind goes blank.
As my mind goes blank, I stop thinking.
As I stop thinking, my blood stops flowing.
As my blood stops flowing, my heart stops beating.
As my heart stops beating, my body collapses.
As my body collapses, I near my final breath.
As I near my final breath, I fall into the dark abyss.
As I fall in the dark abyss, I am quickly forgotten about.
As I am quickly forgotten about, my existence disappears.
As my existence disappears, I am finally gone.
As I am finally gone, everyone is finally happy.
As everyone is finally happy, I no longer exist…


I’m Sorry… (6/26/13)

I’m sorry I can’t be perfect like you.
Even after everything I do.
I’m sorry I take blades to my wrists.
Leaving only bloody twists.
I’m sorry I yell at your face.
I know I’m a huge disgrace.
I’m sorry I make mistakes.
Even ones that make my soul break.
I’m sorry I tell huge lies.
At night, they make me want to cry.
I’m sorry I can’t be strong at all.
When I’m at my worst downfalls.
I’m sorry I’m such a horrible, empty soul.
I know I won’t ever be whole.
I’m sorry I can’t ever be what you want me to be.
Even if my lying mask is only what you see.
I’m sorry I’m living a lie.
It makes me want to die.
I’m sorry for being the imperfect me…
Maybe when I’m dead, my soul can finally be free…


“You don’t know what you truly have until

“You don’t know what you truly have until it’s gone.”


“Everybody’s searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to. I never found anyone who fulfilled my need… A lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on me.”

Bedtime Lullaby (9/21/12)

I write this but not as a song.
It has been far too long.
Since I have gotten some sleep.
My mind has been buried deep.
Deep within sleepless nights.
Dim down the colorful spotlights.
Moving around on the dance floor.
Dimming down the fire within ones core.
It’s time for bed.
Lay down your weary head.
Let your mind get lost into a thousand dreams.
So you soon know what they mean.
Listen carefully to what they have to say.
It could also mean it’s your final day.
But please rest your head.
Where as it is time for bed.
Get lost within a thousand thoughts.
Rid your mind of all of the fights you fought.
So go to bed and do not cry.
As you read this lullaby.
Good night and sleep well.
For as this isn’t our final farewell.

Please Save Me (8/31/12)

My heart is surrounded by a broken seal.
I am surrounded by love which was never real.
The inside of my body is shaking.
The outside of my body is breaking.
I am internally shutting off.
On the outside, I show nothing, not even a cough.
My heart is buried beneath a ton of lies.
Please save it now before it dies.
I cannot breathe.
Maybe it’s my time to leave.
But before I get off this empty stage.
I’ll show you my side which is full of rage.
Full of rage, full of loneliness, full of hurt.
From all of the times in which I was treated like dirt.
Can you help me at all?
Can you hear my calls?
The one’s that seem like it’s nothing but silence.
All of the calls caused by violence.
The one’s that say nothing but screams.
One’s that can’t even be heard in dreams.
These screams are full of pain.
Screams caused by my tears that flow like rain.
But please save me from Death.
Before I take my final breath.


“This isn’t a p…

“This isn’t a perfect world. People do get hurt. You smile when you feel like crying. You act like you’re okay, when you’re falling apart inside. And you try to let go, you try to move on, because you know there’s nothing else you could do.”